Invisible Hungers and Filling Your Own Bowl

Thanksgiving is in a few days.

I will eat so very much.

I will be grateful that I can take for granted an abundance of food in my life, not only on this day but each day.

I will be grateful - for the food and the family and the warm fireplace - but not quite like the Pilgrims were grateful.

Because my scarcities aren't food related.

The Pilgrims arrived in 1620 and basically have no freaking clue how to feed themselves in this new land. The local Wompanoag tribe taught them what to grow and how, and how to find food while they waited for their harvest (OMG, I'm such a nerd, can you tell I have little kids?!?!)

When the fall of 1621 came and their crops actually yielded enough, They. Were. So. Psyched! They had been uncertain and clumsy and insecure about whether they would have enough food to survive.

Food was scarce, and Thanksgiving was their celebration of abundance.


For you and me, food is plentiful. But we still indulge in the abundance of food. And, often we don't feel so great about it. We are accustomed to having enough food, so this abundance can actually spin us out into self-punishing gluttony shame-spirals.

Then, on top of beating ourselves up for eating too much, we beat ourselves up for not being grateful enough for all that we already have. Double freaking whammy, my friend.

We want to feel satisfied by the true abundance in our lives, but so often we aren't.

I believe this is because we are suffering from Oh-So-Many invisible hungers.


Scarcity may not be relevant to our lives in terms of stuff and things.

But scarcity may be precisely what we're experience in our internal lives.

So many of us suffer from deep hungers for


compassionate connection,

peace of mind,

permission to let go of the pressure.


What feels scarce in your life?

What would be so awesome to experience in abundance, even if for a fleeting moment?

Imagine your big plate piled high with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing.

Now imagine your invisible plate and fill it will all that you truly long for, all that feels too scarce too often.

What is scarce? What would you like to have in abundance?

I'd like a double serving of self-compassion, a thick slice of playfulness, and warm dollops of calm.

During this holiday, and hopefully on many other days, I want to be grateful for all the things and stuff I have that keep me safe and secure and warm and fed.

But I also want to be awake to my internal life and the hungers I can neglect, and I aspire to feed those hungers in deeply nourishing and sustaining ways.

Enough love, enough compassion, enough fun, enough rest. I want the same for you.


I am wishing you a happy holiday.

I am with you in the struggle to feed ourselves what we really need.

May this be the year that, together, we seek an abundance of what matters most.


With love and optimism,

Dr. J

Hi, I'm Jessica. I'm a psychologist, mom of 2 and fierce ally for women who want to find more joy, meaning and fulfillment in their lives.