Self-Doubt is a secret companion for more women than you might imagine. Overcoming Self-Doubt is one of the main goals women want to achieve when they come to me for coaching.
Self-Doubt sounds like....
Is it my fault?
Am I doing enough?
Am I good enough?
Did I do something wrong?
Am I supposed to know something I don't know I'm supposed to know?
Self-Doubt is this tricky way of protecting ourselves from the natural uncertainty and vulnerability of life.
Self-Doubt is painful, but it's also super comfortable.
Self-Doubt is scared of discomfort. It keeps up the fantasy that we could avoid the inevitable discomforts of imperfection and powerlessness.
Self-Doubt believes that we might be able to control the outcomes of life if only we tried harder, knew more, reached perfect enlightenment.
If it's all your fault, you can feel a sense of control by trying to never make a mistake.
If you're not good enough, then you can protect yourself from vulnerability by not taking risks.
If you assume you did something wrong, you can work harder and keep up the fantasy that you will one day get it right.
If you are sure you're supposed to know something you don't yet know, that you can protect yourself from uncertainty by spending your time learning more and more and more.
Overcoming Self-Doubt means being willing to live with more and stronger feelings of uncertainty, vulnerability, disappointment, and powerlessness.
Overcoming Self-Doubt looks like having all the negative, doubting thoughts, and not letting them dictate your actions or define who you are.
Overcoming Self-Doubt means being super compassionate with yourself when it barges in and does dictate your actions and defines who you are, as it will time and time again.
Overcoming Self-Doubt means accepting that living is about one-day-at-a-time experimentation.
You handle the tantrum the best you can, and know you'll always have another chance.
You assert your opinion at work, get more information later, and change your opinion.
You ask for what you want from the world, maybe get disappointed, and ask again.
You do your best, make mistakes, and change.
Over and over.
One day at a time.
Self-Doubt may never go away, but it can stop running the show.
With love and optimism,
Hi! I'm Dr. Jessica. I'm a psychologist and work with busy women who want to unhook from guilt and perfectionism so they can live more vital, meaningful, values driven lives.
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