You have good-person problems.
You are always looking at ways in which you could have done better, been nicer, been braver, been more zen. You make sure to catch and reflect on all your possible errors because you want to do better next time.
This practice, this habit of being super tuned in to all the possible errors, all the possible dimensions where you can improve, is YOUR WORST HABIT.
As a culture, we are hooked on self-improvement, which seems uplifting on the surface, but in reality is totally demoralizing and shame rich.
We are so into finding what's wrong, that we are drastically disconnected from that part of us that can choose to live well and feel damn good about it.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Instead of more self-improvement, get into owning all that you are already doing so incredibly well.
Every little thing, every little time.
What happens when you train your brain to find the things that you are doing that make you feel really good, really proud?
What happens when you train your brain to notice all the self-improvement thoughts (i.e., self-attack disguised as self-help) and decide to disobey their commands?
You feel a whole hell of a lot better. Things are easier. You have more energy and time. You're more present and connected.
You can actually enjoy all that is going well.
You don't need self-improvement. You need a greater sense of agency and mastery - a sense of "This life is MINE and today I'm going to do what I need to do to love it."
This shift from a self-improvement habit to an agency and mastery habit is what we do in the Finding What You Didn't Lose journaling intensive.
If you want support and love and accountability and encouragement to trade up your habits so you can enjoy your finite, precious days, you can join us here, we start May 3rd.
With love and optimism,